the 90-day sober trial.

Why 90 Days?

Because change doesn’t happen in a weekend.
Because clarity isn’t instant – it’s fucking earned.

Crumble, Cry but Stay: 90 Days Sober exists because sometimes people don’t believe they can quit forever – and honestly, that’s fair. Forever is terrifying. But 90 days? That’s a deal you can make with yourself. That’s a temporary break you can justify. That’s just long enough to get past the noise and into the truth.

And here’s the truth I learned:
The longer you’re sober, the clearer it gets that your drunk or high thoughts weren’t just messy. They were wrong. Dangerous, sometimes. At best, delusional. 

And I know it’s not the same for everyone – but maybe sobriety can bring someone clear-headed to a job interview for the first time in years. Or maybe after 30 days sober, someone might actually have the energy and strength to go to the gym or start eating like they matter. And with both of those – and all the little victories like them – they might start to feel good about their real reality. Not the version skewed by shame or substance abuse but the one that belongs fully to them. And you don’t see that on Day 3. You don’t see it while your hands are still shaking or your brain is still begging you to cope the only way it knows how.

You see it somewhere in Week 5, maybe. When you look back at something you used to justify – a fight, a hookup, a bender – and think,

What the actual hell was I thinking?

You see it after a full month of sleeping through the night. When you show up to a job interview not reeking of stale regret. When you go to the gym and cry on the treadmill because you forgot what it feels like to move your body out of care instead of punishment.

You see it when you don’t spiral for no reason on a Tuesday.
When you don’t need to apologize every morning.
When you realize you are the stable one now – not the liability.

And look – I know it’s not this way for everyone. But if you give it 90 days, even half-heartedly at first, there’s a chance you’ll meet a version of yourself you actually like. One who’s not running. One who doesn’t want to go back.

And that’s all this is about.
Not perfection. Not some perfect sober life.

Just giving yourself the shot you’ve never really had.
The one with your full mind, heart and body in it.

For 90 days. Just to see.
Because maybe you’re not a fucking lost cause. Maybe you just need 90 days.

Introduction:

Let’s be clear: I’m not here to save you. I’m here to tell you that 90 days can.
Not because everything magically changes after 3 months (spoiler: your credit score probably won’t) but because you will.

And here’s the wild thing: the longer you’re sober, the more you realize you were never actually thinking clearly before. Like how did I think that was okay? Who was I apologizing to on Tuesday and texting on Saturday? What was I even wearing to brunch?

That kind of clarity takes time – and 90 days gives you just enough space between who you are now and who you were with a buzz, a bottle or a bag.

This is not a self-help manual. It’s a self-start manual.

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Week 1: Dry Spell or Spiritual Awakening? TBD.

You might feel like trash. That’s okay.
This is the “Who even am I without my dopamine crutch?” phase. Your body’s detoxing. Your brain’s rewiring. And you’re probably Googling whether coffee counts as a relapse (it doesn’t. Relax).

Your only job this week:

• Don’t drink or use.
• Eat food. Sleep.
• Text someone you trust.
• Cry, if it comes up.
• Take one walk and call it “healing.”

Week 2: Welcome to Your Raw Era

Things are… clearer. But also louder. You’re feeling your feelings without numbing them. Yay?
This is the week your brain starts coming back online and goes,

“Oh, we have some shit to deal with.”

Memories might show up uninvited. Cravings too. But here’s the trick:

You don’t need to fight the cravings. You just need to outlast them.

• Journal your thoughts. Even if they suck. Especially then.
• Move your body 3 times this week.
• Find one thing to look forward to sober.

Week 3: Getting Bored? Good.

You’re not in survival mode anymore. You’re in the “what now?” phase.
This is where relapse likes to whisper:

“You’re fine now. One won’t hurt.”

But remember how you thought when you were drunk? Yeah. That version of you had zero business making decisions. She’d call her ex and think it was personal growth.

This is where you start choosing you. Not the drama, not the chaos. You.

• Make one plan that involves no alcohol and no shame spiral.
• Write down 3 things you’re proud of.
• Rewatch the worst drunk video you have of yourself.

Week 4: You’re a Whole Month In. Holy Shit.

You’ve probably saved money. Slept more. Fought fewer imaginary battles in your head.
Your body’s catching on. You might even look better. (Not that we’re vain but like… be honest.)

But here’s the kicker:
This is when people around you might start testing your new vibe.

“You can drink again now, right?”
No. You’re not on parole. You’re rebuilding your life.

Protect the progress.

• Say no without a TED Talk.
• Make it inconvenient to relapse.
• Write yourself a note: “Don’t be an idiot. You’ve come too far.”

Week 5: More Clarity, Less Craving

• Revisit your “why.” Update it. Expand it. Believe it.
• Try one sober social activity (even if it’s online).
• Write down what you’re noticing now that you didn’t notice before.

Week 6: Old Habits Die Loud

• Spot the triggers: people, places, thoughts.
• Remove one thing that’s keeping you stuck.
• Create a “safety plan” for high-risk days (holidays, weekends, ex’s birthday).

Week 7: The Ides of Change

• Get honest with someone. Say the thing you’ve been avoiding.
• Add something new to your routine: a class, a book, a playlist.
• Make a list of 5 things you actually like about yourself.

Week 8: Two Months Clean. You’re Not Who You Were.

• Reflect on your worst day drunk/high. Remind yourself you survived it.
• Clean your space. Organize one drawer. Yes, really.
• Say no to something that drains you. Say yes to something that fills you.

Week 9: Choosing Peace Over Chaos

• Observe how you respond to conflict now.
• Make a list of things you’ve handled sober that felt impossible before.
• Say something kind to yourself every morning, even if it feels fake.

Week 10: The Turning Point

• Do something hard on purpose. Prove to yourself you can.
• Let go of one person who’s not safe for your sobriety.
• Write a letter to Day 1 you. You don’t have to send it.

Week 11: Routines Become Habits

• Track your progress: sleep, energy, money saved.
• Make your own evening ritual. No phone, no noise, just you.
• Laugh at something stupid and let it be enough.

Week 12: Ready or Not

• Celebrate yourself. Out loud.
• Ask: What do I want to bring with me into Day 91? What do I want to leave behind?
• Take a sober selfie. That’s what clarity looks like.

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Final Note:

Sobriety doesn’t promise perfection. But it gives you back your choices.

And choosing yourself for 90 days? That’s not weakness. That’s a fucking revolution.

If you want to keep going after 90, good.
If you don’t… well, you’ll never un-know what it feels like to finally be free.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll never want to go back.

– North Let Go & D.