About

North Let Go and myself

Welcome to North Let Go – a blog born out of the chaos and clarity that come with starting over, again and again. I’m so grateful you’ve taken the time to visit my little corner of the internet. I’ve always looked at writing as a solace – a place to untangle the mess in my mind and maybe find a little peace on the other side.

North Let Go isn’t just a name – it’s the map I made after getting tired of pretending I wasn’t lost. It’s a place to process things. Sometimes that’s joyful, sometimes it’s a breakdown – usually, it’s both. But it’s always honest.

I’m currently on my second journey of sobriety. This time around, it feels rooted – not performative, not temporary, not “until I feel better.” Just real. I don’t feel like drinking. It’s not a daily battle to avoid alcohol because I actually despise the version of me that did.

That’s where the blog comes in. Good Articles is home to three ongoing series: Sobriety Notes, Brunches & Breakdowns and the (Why) Sonnets – each one a different lens on what healing can look like. Sometimes blunt, sometimes poetic, never sugarcoated, Sugars.

I don’t claim to have the answers. I’m not a therapist, just someone who’s trying. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve lost people. I’ve quit things that used to define me but I’ve also written my way back to a self I can sit with.

I write for anyone who’s ever wondered if they’re too broken to fix. You’re not. None of us are. We really aren’t even broken. And even if you don’t believe that yet – borrow a little belief from here while you find your own way.

Thanks for being here.

I’m a sober alcoholic.

I say “am” for a reason. Not “was.” Not “used to be.” Because “was” implies I could go out and have a drink or two like a normal person – have some wine over dinner, laugh, be charming and call it a night. But that’s not how it worked for me. That’s not who I was when I drank.

The version of me that drank? Like I said, I’m not very fond of her. Truly. She wasn’t reckless in a cute, spontaneous way – she was destructive, spiraling, ashamed and exhausted. She hurt people. She ghosted her own life. She disappeared from everything that mattered. So no – I don’t crave a drink. I crave never being her again.

I’m not gritting my teeth through cravings or staring down 2-6s of vodka with tears in my eyes as I grab one or two (depending on the type of day – yes, daily) bottles off of the shelf. That part? Over. I don’t want to drink. I want to feel okay in my own skin. I want to heal what drinking destroyed – the trust, the stability, the sense of self I’m still trying to piece back together.

The whole “take it one step at a time” phrase you keep hearing, it isn’t about resisting a drink. It’s about managing the confusion about how to be a person now that you’re not numbing everything. That’s how it is for me, at least. It’s a daily challenge to deal with the fallout: anxiety, shame, depression and relearning how to just, be. Having the courage to start really learning how to be here. In this body. With this brain. In this world – that’s what takes work.

So yeah. I’m an alcoholic. But I’m also someone who finally knows better. Who finally chooses herself. And who finally understands that sobriety isn’t just about not drinking – it’s about reclaiming the parts of me I thought were gone for good.